Good Day!
Let me begin this letter by telling you that I have seen people shot dead in different parts of their anatomy and I'd say it’s not a wonderful sight to begin your day with or a fantastic scenario before you eat your favorite meal at lunch. I never actually heard a gun get fired while aimed at someone before but I bet the sound it would make is loud, haunting and pure evil. With that in mind, it gives me a creep to walk in the streets at night, sit next to an odd looking man getting God-knows-what from his oversized jacket or even stay close to a freaky looking police officer with a weapon in hand. But what gives me a hell lot of scary shit is giving my heart to you.
I have never been a participant in the sick and twisted games that people play. The mind games that would wreck your mental stability, the cat and mouse chase of predator and prey, and the jigsaw puzzle of truths and lies makes me uneasy and nauseous. Seeing and observing people playing and being played drains the crap out of me. It’s a hideous and repulsive gladiator fight that wrenches my gut. Hence, I never wish to be one of the participants in any of the categories that needy, selfish and ego centric people play. However, it seems like or it feels like I am now a direct competitor in one of the games I happen to loathe.
I never had an entirely good idea as to how I ended up in this blurry and murky situation. I despise things that are out focus. They make me feel dizzy and blind as to what the truth might have been. It’s like seeing a complicated illusion and when you finally figured things out, you end up bitten by a damn king cobra or worse, being shot dead through the heart just because you were too freaking slow to think.
You must know that my heart is not bulletproof. It is vulnerable, mushy and fragile. And I'm damn too afraid to hand it over to you. You can’t blame me for that. I have seen my fair share of heartbreaks that it makes me want to guard everything essential to me.
Tell me, if I am to hand you my heart will you take good care of it? Or will you just make it an easy target in a shooting range? You see, I am not some random stranger you pick up in a bar or you flirt with in some godforsaken alcohol and weed place. I am me. And most importantly, I have feelings that get hurt with just a single defiling act that you would do. I don't do those death defying and injury prone circus stunts where you bound a woman in a circular wood board while a man in blindfold throws knives at her or that thingy when you put an apple in a guy's head while another guy in blindfold fires away his crossbow towards that red and luscious fruit. Oh no. I do not take risks such as those.
Man, if it’s not too much to ask, please stop whatever obnoxious plot you plan on doing to my heart. Unless of course if you plan on safekeeping it, then be my guest. And please, for the love of God, be sick of the games that nasty people play. Haven't you had enough of it? Nonetheless, if you still feel like you are no different from those needy, selfish and ego centric men and you are actually convinced that I can be an easy game to you; then please spare me and the thought of putting me in a hunting ground where you'll be the hunter and I am obviously the prey. I am not up for any challenge such as that. Hell, I'm not even good at running away and hiding. So please, just please, spare me and my heart.
Xoxo.
Me
