It all started with a question and my heart started to beat like it has never knew how before. I never believe in "Love at first sight" heck, it was never really "LOVE" in the first place but, I could never bring my intelligent and conscious mind into thinking as to what I feel, how I feel and why I felt this unknown emotion. Everything before you was fine, it was even normal. I was contented with the monotonous flow of my life, until you. You were like the ecstasy of methamphetamine to a neophyte, stranger to a new kind of high. And just like any other addiction, I can never get enough of you; literally.
I look forward to seeing you everyday. Your smile, your "quasi" laugh (I can never tell if your laughing your heart out or if you're being sarcastic or if you're just faking it), your eyes that captivates mine, your glance that frozen my stares, your "lost in translation" statements, your "buffering" moments and your humble remarks stops me dead in my tracks. You were an entirely different person that evoked an entirely different emotion in me. You’re a craving that I could never satisfy.
But I guess what you thought you knew is as deadly as a snake's venom. Marami na nga ang namamatay sa maling akala, isa na ako dun. Buti nga ang bocha dalawang beses lang namatay eh. Pero ako, it felt like I died a million times.
And no matter what I do, I know I can never be her. I am me. Plain and overrated, simple and complex, spontaneous and predictable. And you know what, I am willing to offer you the love that she can't give. Mamahalin kita kahit na mahal mo 'sya. I'll love you despite of who you are. I'm willing to love you even if I know I'll end up hurting and empty-handed. At kahit ganyan ka, tanggap kita. You would never have to pretend that your somebody else when you're with me.
Sana lang you had the chance to realize this thing that I felt for you. I tried telling you naman di ba? But the time ran out for me. Naubos na ang buhangin sa hourglass. Its over. And now that we're just mere strangers to each other, I hope that one day when we see each other in a corridor, a hallway, a park, a museum or an elevator, I hope that we would have a new beginning kahit friends lang. Malay mo di ba??
Kasi patuloy pa rin akong umaasa.
At patuloy akong aasa.
