My most formidable foe these days is sloth basking in a glow of nothingness. I don't know why for the love of god I feel this obscure laziness these past few days making me stall on something I look forward in doing. Maybe it's the bummer in me saying I have an infinite supply of time to bother making an effort. And so for days, I've procrastinated and delayed my purpose. It's already 7:17 pm on my screen and I'm still uninspired. I've thought ahead of this but the blank, wasted days behind me deprived me of the right things to say.
7:30 pm. I still have nothing on my mind. I'm getting frustrated now. I feel like I'm going to fail yet again this year. See, I've always wanted to write something about my mom. She may not be perfect but she's entirely the best at least in mine and my sibling's point of view and that should count. It's the only thing that should and other people's opinion of her and her parenting couldn't matter more. I wouldn't care less about how people see her. For me, she's the epitome of all things good. All moms are regardless of their mistakes, flaws and weaknesses.
7:38 pm. Thank God I'm getting somewhere. I thought about having kids of my own someday. Little ones I could call my own but the trail begins and ends there. As to how I'm going to have kids? I'll think of ways. If no options are available, I'll improvise. Don't get me wrong. I'm not desperate. I'm not in the position to be but, I just don't see myself as a wife. A mom? Absolutely. A wife? I don't think so as of the moment. Why? Well, I don't think this is the time to discuss about it. Anyway, I'm not going to venture on that uncharted lands now. Maybe some other time will do. Perhaps by then I'm finally enlightened. Besides, the spotlight is on my mom and all the moms out there today. It's this time of the year again where prodigal sons and daughters like me remember how special and wonderful those women who braved life and death only for us to breathe and have the best that life could offer.
8:09 pm. Wow. That previous paragraph took time. But at least I'm halfway there. Going back to my line of thought, I've seen how life is conceived from day one until that aggravating period of bringing forth life on earth. I mean bringing forth literally as I've been in a front row seat of excruciating labor pains and agonizing deliveries a number of times in the past. Not that I've been pregnant but my field of profession gave me VIP access during birthing and mind you; as much as it is amazing to see how life came out of another person's body, it isn't a very appetizing and appealing flick. Not just that. Let's not forget the 9 month-period of mood swings, food cravings, blues and weight gain.
8:24 pm. No. Things do not end there for a mother. In fact, it's just the beginning of that extraordinary odyssey. You and I would probably not remember those sleepless nights where a wailing infant rattles an entire household because he's hungry or his diaper needs changing. It's also not in our memories how we steered to pull heartbreaking stunts and managed to break mom's favorite porcelain, create a mess out of her makeup and upset her because we just got bumps and bruises from reckless playing. Those times when mama wanted to buy that beautiful shoes or bag but wouldn't because her daughter wanted so much that dress at an unbelievably expensive boutique or that her son would need the extra cash for school would escape our notice too. What we probably would remember are those times when we argue with her just because she said we're too young to party, too immature to date, too messy in our rooms and too childish to earn their trust. Yeah. Those moments will surely be remembered specially those times when we got grounded and those when we got spanked out of our naughtiness and hardheadedness. Those times have been bad and hard on our part and we'd think mommy's being too nosy and too protective that she gets a hold of our freedom with vise grips. Little did we know how it actually hurts nanay too when she hears us talk back, break curfew rules and fall down hard from our mistakes that shouldn't have happened in the first place if only we've listened to her.
8:45 pm. I have to end this now. It's getting too long and I'm running out of words. The whole point of this is, motherhood isn't an easy task. Others would agree with me on this specially those who've been there and done that. I am no expert and certainly I do not have a firsthand experience but, I would dare say that to be a mother, one needs to have and exert a herculean effort to go about the commitment. Yes. Motherhood is a lifetime commitment and a lasting responsibility. It isn't a benign and monotonous task. It's a conquest of great efforts and sacrifices. My mom's ways maybe esoteric and sometimes misunderstood but when the time comes and it's going to be my turn, I know things will unfold little by little for me and until then, I'll strive hard to be the daughter she's going to be proud of.
9:05 pm. Seriously. I should end this before I choke on my tears. To you, mom and to all the mothers out there, thank you so much for the selfless and unrelenting love, patience and kindness. I salute you for the everyday sacrifices that you've made just so we could be the best and we could have the best.
9:23 pm.
I love you Ma.
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